Fearful of the System

The term “the system” can evoke a myriad of emotions, but for many of the women who come to Project Cuddle, it stirs deep fear and mistrust. These are women who have endured hardships unimaginable to many—foster care, abusive homes, or adoption situations that left emotional scars. Often, they feel trapped in a web of bureaucracy and uncertainty. My mission has always been to meet these women where they are and guide them toward hope.

Understanding the Fear

More than half of the women who contact Project Cuddle have some history with foster care or adoption. They’ve often experienced instability, neglect, or abuse during formative years. These experiences shape their perception of “the system,” which they view as a cold and unfeeling entity ready to swallow them whole.

I’ve witnessed firsthand how difficult it is for these women to trust anyone, let alone an organization. A call to Project Cuddle is usually their last resort. They’re terrified their situation will spiral further out of control if they reach out for help. It is my duty to ensure they feel safe, respected, and in control of their decisions.

Stories of Survival

The Little Princess

I’ll never forget Jackie, who called us one August evening. She had been in foster care since she was three and carried the trauma of her early years into adulthood. Her biological father’s cruelty and her adoptive family’s neglect had left her fearful and lost.

Jackie’s story was harrowing—an abusive father who used his children to punish their mother, culminating in an incident where Jackie was dropped out of a second-story window. Despite surviving this ordeal, her life in the foster system was a rollercoaster of separation and fleeting reunions with her siblings. Eventually adopted, Jackie found herself in a household devoid of warmth or understanding. By the time she turned eighteen, pregnant and scared, she felt she had no one to turn to.

When she reached out to Project Cuddle, I saw a young woman desperate for hope. She wanted a better life for herself and her unborn child. Through weeks of careful planning, we helped Jackie find an adoptive family who valued the life she was bringing into the world. It wasn’t easy for her to trust us, but she took a leap of faith. Today, Jackie is thriving, and her child is growing up in a home filled with love and opportunity.

Why “The System” Feels Like a Trap

For women like Jackie, the system represents loss: loss of control, family, and safety. The stories they hear from others and their own lived experiences feed a cycle of fear.

Even as adults, these women often hesitate to seek help because they’re afraid of being judged or labeled as failures. Many worry that their pasts will dictate their futures. They’ve been told too many times that they’re not enough or that their mistakes define them. Project Cuddle strives to break that narrative, showing them that everyone deserves a chance to rewrite their story.

Building a Bridge to Trust

The path to healing starts with trust—a precious and fragile thing. At Project Cuddle, our first step is to listen without judgment. These women are used to being dismissed, but we want them to feel heard.

Once they open up, we help them envision a future where they can make decisions free from fear. Whether it’s finding a safe home, prenatal care, or placing their baby in a loving adoptive family, we empower them to take the reins.

For many, the most healing part of their journey is realizing they’re not alone. We connect them with other women who have walked similar paths. This network of shared experience becomes a source of strength and encouragement, a reminder that resilience is possible.

A Future Beyond Fear

Every time I hear a success story, it reaffirms my belief in what we do. Women like Jackie teach me that fear can be overcome with love, patience, and support. At Project Cuddle, we create a space where hope thrives, and the system doesn’t have the final say.

If you or someone you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy and feels overwhelmed or unsure about what to do, please know that you’re not alone. Here at Project Cuddle, our dedicated team is here to offer compassion, guidance, and resources to help navigate this challenging time. We’re just a phone call away, ready to listen and provide support without judgment. Reach out to us anytime—we’re here to help you find a path forward with dignity and care. Let’s work together to create a brighter future for you and your baby.

Tune in next month and there will be more to come.

Hugs & Cuddles,

-Debbie Magnusen The Baby Saver