Dont Mess With Big Momma!
In my years running Project Cuddle, I’ve heard countless stories of young girls and women in desperate situations, but Amy’s story struck me deeply. Her journey was both heartbreaking and inspiring, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a story that has stayed with me, reminding me why I started this mission—to ensure that no girl feels alone, and that there is always a way out, no matter how dark the circumstances may seem.
A Simple Beginning in a Complex World
Amy grew up in an Amish community, a life defined by simplicity, faith, and strict adherence to tradition. I’ve always been fascinated by how different the lives of these girls can be from what most of us know. Amy’s world was one where technology was non-existent, modesty was the law, and anything modern or “English” was strictly forbidden. But life for Amy didn’t stay that way for long.
Her father passed away when she was just a toddler, leaving her mother to raise her alone. For years, they stuck closely to the Amish way of life. Then, as fate would have it, her mother met an Englishman—a forbidden relationship in the eyes of their Amish community. As a result, they were shunned, excommunicated, and forced to leave behind everything they knew.
It was a painful transition for both Amy and her mother. Although they now lived outside the Amish community, Amy’s mother tried to maintain as many of their old ways as possible. While she worked in a modern office building, their home remained a stark contrast—no electricity, no TV, and no conveniences like a washing machine. Amy was caught between these two worlds—the traditional values her mother clung to and the modern world she was exposed to at public school.
Struggling Between Two Worlds
I can only imagine how confusing life must have been for Amy. At school, she was surrounded by peers who watched MTV, wore fashionable clothes, and indulged in the normal teenage rebellion that comes with growing up. At home, however, things were much different. Her mother enforced strict rules—no sleeveless tops, no makeup, and certainly no television.
Living in both worlds must have left Amy feeling torn, and like so many young girls, she sought ways to fit in. That desire to feel normal, to feel accepted, led her to make choices that would change her life forever.
It was Halloween when Amy made a decision she would later regret. Like many teenagers, she sneaked out of the house to attend a party. She dressed up as Alice in Wonderland, a symbol of the innocence she was about to lose. What should have been a fun night with friends took a devastating turn when she found herself in a situation she couldn’t control. She was assaulted by three boys in a dark basement, and that trauma would haunt her for months to come.
Silent Suffering and Desperation
For months, Amy kept her secret buried deep inside. She believed that what had happened to her was a punishment—God’s way of showing her the consequences of breaking her mother’s rules. The shame she felt was overwhelming, and it kept her from confiding in anyone, especially her mother.
But as time passed, Amy’s fear grew. She realized she was pregnant. For many girls, this realization brings a flood of emotions—fear, confusion, and hopelessness. Amy had no one to turn to and no idea how to navigate this terrifying situation. Her mother’s strict rules and deep religious beliefs only compounded her fears. If her pregnancy were discovered, Amy knew she would face severe punishment, or worse, complete abandonment.
Finally, after months of hiding her pregnancy, Amy reached out for help. I’ll never forget the moment I heard from her. It took weeks for Amy to gather the courage to make that call to Project Cuddle, and when she finally did, she was terrified. I could hear the fear in her voice, the desperation of a girl who felt like the world was closing in on her. She barely spoke at first, and I knew from experience that this was going to take time.
A Lifeline Through the Crisis Line
Amy’s first call was brief, but I made sure to let her know that I was there, ready to listen whenever she felt ready to talk. Over the next few weeks, she began to open up more, sharing pieces of her story that broke my heart. She had been hiding her pregnancy by wearing a tight girdle and baggy clothes. She lived in constant fear of her mother finding out, terrified of the consequences.
As she approached her due date, Amy was still determined to hide everything. She even had plans to deliver the baby alone in a hotel room. That thought chilled me to the bone. I knew that without help, both Amy and her baby were at great risk. I had to find a way to convince her to seek proper care, but I also had to tread carefully. Amy’s trust was fragile, and one wrong step could cause her to disappear from our radar altogether.
It took a lot of gentle persuasion, but eventually, Amy agreed to work with a midwife. We found one who understood the delicate situation and was willing to offer her services without raising suspicion. I’ll never forget the relief I felt when Amy agreed to this help—it was the first step in ensuring that both she and her baby would be safe.
The Birth of Nathan James
On July 21, 1999, Amy went into labor. Thanks to the midwife we had connected her with, she delivered a small but healthy baby boy, Nathan James. I can still remember the moment the midwife called me to say the delivery had gone well. He was born at just 5 pounds, 4 ounces, but he was strong and breathing well on his own.
Amy had made the difficult decision not to keep Nathan, knowing that she couldn’t provide the life he deserved. Instead, she chose a family that would give him a stable, loving home. This family lived just thirty minutes away and arrived shortly after Nathan was born. They would be the ones to give him his first bath and hold him close, beginning a new chapter in both their lives and his.
Moving Toward Healing
Amy’s story didn’t end with the birth of Nathan. In fact, it was just the beginning of her journey toward healing. She continued to face challenges—both emotional and physical—but she had taken the first step toward reclaiming her life.
Today, Amy is finishing her senior year of high school. I’m so proud of her. She’s managed to secure a scholarship and plans to attend college, where she hopes to study to become a children’s counselor. She’s determined to help other abused children, believing that her experiences give her unique insight into the pain they endure. She understands what it feels like to be trapped, scared, and unsure of how to move forward.
Though Amy’s mother may never know the full extent of her daughter’s struggles, Amy has proven to herself—and to the world—that there is a way out of even the darkest situations. She called us when she needed help the most, and because of that one brave decision, she and Nathan James are living the lives they deserve.
Closing Thoughts
I regret that I never got to meet Amy. I know that the experience was both traumatic and life-changing. Her son is now in a modern American home. He will have electricity, and his mother will do the laundry in a washing machine. Amy still sees him once a year for his birthday. Amy is now finishing her senior year and will be going to college on a scholarship. Upon finishing, she hopes to be a children’s counselor. She would like to help abused children and feels that she would be able to understand their pain better than the average person. Though her mother will probably never know her secret, Amy proved to herself that there was a way out of this deep, dark hole. We are just so thankful that she called. Now, she and little Nathan James are truly living life.
Join Us in Making a Difference
If you or someone you know is feeling scared or unsure about a pregnancy, please don’t hesitate to reach out to us at Project Cuddle. We’re here to listen, support, and provide safe, non-judgmental guidance. Whether you need information on safe surrender, options, or just someone to talk to, we’re ready to help you make informed and legal decisions. You are not alone, and your call will always be confidential. Let us be a resource for you—call our office today or use our hotline if you need immediate assistance.
Tune in next month and there will be more to come.
Hugs & Cuddles.
-Debbie Magnuson, The Baby Saver